Hello and Happy Monday,
A friend of mine is making a big move. After almost 40 years of living in the same place, she is moving over 900 miles away. People move all the time. In the past few months, several people I know are or have moved (this is in addition to the military). She’s not nervous about the move, she was nervous to tell one of her friends. This was a friendship that became stronger during the pandemic. Friends that lived close to one another, now only seeing each other through the screen of their phones. She was nervous for lots of reasons and when she told her, like all the rest of her friends, she was thrilled for her. Excited for this new chapter in her life. That’s when you know you have the right friends.
Having the right people in your life doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect and easy all the time. Instead, having the right people in your life means that they support your growth, they heal with you, they separate their feelings from your experience. It’s amazing when this happens and recognizing it and celebrating it, I think, is important.
An old friend recently reached out to me and I recalled a story of her coming over to my house to hang out with me and the kids. I knew she was headed my way and told her to text me when she got to my place. I was upstairs nursing Melissa and I heard her voice, in my house! My text never went through, she knocked on the door and Michael let her in. Michael was 3! We knew my friend, but he was not supposed to open the door. I panicked a little and then was fine, I could prevent this in the future. Then I got nervous. Nervous to tell my ex-husband. I knew he would be annoyed that I had a friend over and how careless I was to leave Michael downstairs by himself. (I already knew this was a red flag.)
I want to add here: Although it may seem like it, I’m not trying to paint my ex as a bad villain. I played a part in our relationship dynamics. Sometimes people react the way they do from their own pain.
On Saturday, Joe, the kids, and I celebrated, (after Melissa went to gymnastics), our 2-year wedding anniversary. I’m sure there have been times I’ve been nervous to tell Joe things, (and none I can recall as I sit here and write) but nothing that would warrant anything but love and acceptance. Joe is my twin flame, my soul mate, my lobster, whatever you call it, he and I fit, we are a fantastic team. And, I play a part in this relationship too to make it what it is.
I hope you are surrounded by the right people. I hope that if you are nervous to tell someone something that you find the strength. And I hope that you are met with support and love and your experiences are valued. I hope you are able to separate your feelings from others’ experiences and know that even though we might be looking at the same thing, we probably see something different. And I hope that you keep practicing yoga, so you can recognize when you are surrounded by this and celebrate it.